ACT ONE
THE ACTOR sits on a folding chair tying his shoelaces on an otherwise empty stage. Enter THE DIRECTOR.
The ActorYou again.
The DirectorUs again.
The ActorI again. With you.
The DirectorUs.
The ActorI didn't expect you.
The DirectorOf course you did.
The ActorI did, didn't I?
A pause.
The DirectorYou will have to sing this time.
The ActorAren't we always?
The DirectorWe are, aren't we?
The ActorMaybe I should speak this time.
The DirectorYou will sing.
The Actor(singing) I sing, I sing, I sing.
The DirectorI don't like your voice.
The Actor(still singing) As if this were news.
The DirectorIt isn't, is it?
The Actor(speaking) It is not.
The DirectorIf we're lucky, the orchestra will drown out your voice.
The Actor(singing very loudly) Drown out my voice!
The DirectorWe shall need lots of percussion.
THE ACTOR tidies the bows of his shoelaces.
The DirectorI have to insist on percussion and brass.
The Actor(looking up) An orchestra?
The DirectorEvery opera needs an orchestra.
The ActorEvery orchestra needs an opera.
The DirectorEvery opera needs singers.
The ActorEvery singer needs an opera.
The DirectorYou will have yours.
The Actor(singing) I sing, I sing, I sing.
The DirectorYou sing. I direct. And the orchestra drowns out your voice.
The ActorWho's the composer?
The DirectorYou will meet him later. He's famous.
The ActorHe is famous. You are famous. I am famous. We are famous.
The DirectorWe shall be famous.
The ActorAfter this one?
The DirectorAfter it.
The ActorI should go then.
The DirectorYou can't.
The ActorI can.
The DirectorYou won't.
The ActorI will.
The DirectorNo.
THE ACTOR stands.
The DirectorSit.
THE ACTOR sits.
The ActorI will leave in the night before the opening night. When it's dark. When it's pitch black.
The DirectorIn Berlin in June the sky will be dark gray at best.
The ActorYou would see me.
The DirectorI would. I will. I do.
The ActorYou see me.
The DirectorI have always seen you.
The ActorDid you like it?
The DirectorI liked your face. Not your voice.
The ActorDrown it.
Enter THE IMPRESARIO.
The ImpresarioGood morning, gentlemen.
The Actor & The DirectorMorning, Impresario.
The ImpresarioThere you are. My two stars.
The DirectorWe will shine.
The ActorWe will sing.
The DirectorHis voice will be drowned.
The ImpresarioSing?
The DirectorSing.
The Actor(singing) I will sing, will sing, will sing.
The DirectorYou will meet the composer in a moment.
The ImpresarioThe composer?
The ActorHe's famous.
The DirectorYou wanted something new.
The ImpresarioI did, didn't I?
The DirectorYou did.
The ActorDid he?
The DirectorHe did indeed.
The ImpresarioI did.
The DirectorSo it's settled then.
The ActorEvery actor needs an opera.
The ImpresarioOperas need singers.
The Director(proudly, gesturing to The Actor) This is a fine one.
The ActorI'm a fine one.
The ImpresarioHe's the finest.
The ActorI'm the finest.
The DirectorIf only he had a better voice.
The ActorIt will be drowned.
The DirectorPercussion and brass.
The ImpresarioI do not have money for an orchestra.
The DirectorYou do.
The ActorHe does.
The ImpresarioI don't.
The DirectorA small one then?
The ImpresarioNo.
The DirectorA cymbal and a trumpet.
The ActorA trumpet can drown me.
THE IMPRESARIO snaps his fingers. Enter THE SON.
The ImpresarioMeet my son.
THE DIRECTOR and THE ACTOR look at THE SON.
The SonWhat a privilege.
The ActorIs it?
The DirectorIt must be.
The ImpresarioHe just graduated.
The ActorA graduate. And such a handsome one.
The Director(looking at The Impresario) Don't tell me he's supposed to act.
The ActorYou mean to sing.
The ImpresarioHe is tone deaf.
The ActorThe trumpet will drown him.
The ImpresarioGraduated from the LSE, no less.
The ActorThe League of Singing Elephants?
The DirectorThe Lyceum of Scenic Expression?
The ActorThe Laboratory of Sonic Extinction?
The DirectorThen he will know trumpets.
The ActorAh, that's good. He won't be disappointed then when he's drowned out.
The ImpresarioHe is not here to act.
The Actor(to The Director) I told you he's here to sing.
The DirectorHe's tone deaf.
The ActorHe is, isn't he?
The ImpresarioHe is here to give you ideas. He is an economist.
THE IMPRESARIO snaps his fingers.
The SonI have read the play.
The DirectorDid you?
The ActorHe did.
The SonIt's a play about economics.
A pause.
The DirectorYes. The economy of movements. The economy of words. The economy of silence.
The SonIt's about… It's about… The economy of the economy.
The ActorShoelaces.
The DirectorBoots.
The ActorSneakers.
The DirectorSandals.
The ActorBare feet.
The ImpresarioLet him speak.
THE IMPRESARIO snaps his fingers.
The SonIt's about supply and demand.
The ActorI demand shoes without laces.
The DirectorI demand an orchestra.
The ActorI demand a better wage.
The DirectorI demand a cut of the income.
THE IMPRESARIO snaps his fingers.
The SonIt's about the maximisation of… utility.
The ActorLaces have no utility.
The DirectorThey do.
The ActorHow?
The DirectorYou would stumble without them. You wouldn't be able to leave.
The ActorI shall leave in the night before the opening night.
The DirectorLet me take your laces.
The ActorFeel free.
THE DIRECTOR bends down and removes THE ACTOR's laces, carefully threading them through the eyelets of his shoes.
THE IMPRESARIO snaps his fingers.
The SonPeople do what they want to do… all of them… always.
The ActorGoodbye then.
The DirectorDon't forget. I have your laces.
The ActorYou do.
The DirectorYou're stuck.
The ActorI am. Aren't I?
The SonYour constraints have been altered. But… you're still making a choice.
The Actor(singing) If I can choose, I will sing. I sing, I sing, I sing.
The DirectorHe sings.
The ImpresarioHe has a terrible voice.
The Director & The ActorIt will be drowned.
The ImpresarioIf I give you a trumpet.
The DirectorGive me a trumpet.
The ActorGive him a trumpet.
The ImpresarioI cannot afford one.
The DirectorNot even a little one?
The ActorNot even a tiny one?
The DirectorA minuscule one?
The ImpresarioThe economics do not permit it.
The DirectorWe should listen to the composer.
The ImpresarioWhen will he arrive?
The DirectorIn a moment.
The ActorHe's virtually in the room already.
The ImpresarioI cannot see him.
The DirectorYou can envisage him.
The ActorHe's famous.
A long pause.
The ActorHe's a trumpeter himself.
The DirectorI didn't know this.
The ActorA virtuoso.
The DirectorHe certainly is.
Another long pause.
Enter THE STAGE MANAGER.
The Stage ManagerI'm afraid the composer had to cancel. But he will be here tomorrow.
Curtain.
