(A large basement room at the Institute for the Advancement of Dictatorships. Rows of chairs face a low platform at the front.)
(Students sit in the chairs and applaud. Napoleon sits among them, towards the back.)
(The Director stands up and the students follow him into a standing ovation. On the platform, members of the theatre club take a bow. Napoleon remains seated.)
The First Student (dressed as Caligula)
That will do.
(Silence.)
Napoleon
Caligula was such a child.
(The First Student blushes.)
The Second Student (dressed as Condorcet)
Indeed.
Napoleon
You were no better. Remember the eggs?
The Second Student
I was hungry.
Napoleon
I kept it lean and mean. Some chicken, some pasta, a little watered-down wine.
(A pause.)
This regimen held to the end.
(Another pause.)
Betsy was a great cook. Where is she?
The Director
We are trying to get hold of her.
Napoleon
Please do. It will restore order.
(A man wearing the same outfit as the First Student enters.)
Caligula
I’m not a bloody child.
The Director
Oh, I didn’t know you were here.
Caligula
And so is Incitatus. He’s feeding outside.
The Other Students
Hay-hay.
Caligula
Don’t get overexcited. And who is this man with his hand in his jacket?
The First Student
He is Napoleon.
Caligula
I do not know that name. And I do not like his manner.
Napoleon
Is Betsy back?
The Director
She is waiting upstairs for you.
Napoleon
I shall retreat then.
(He leaves.)
Caligula
Order has been restored.
The First Student
Has it?
Caligula
And who are you?
The First Student
I’m Caligula.
Caligula
I am Caligula.
(Another student stands.)
Another Student
I am Caligula.
(A further student stands.)
The Further Student
I am Caligula.
(More of the other students stand and repeat the line.)